// Reoccuring Dreams and By-products//

I suddenly realized that I had been having a reoccurring nightmare. I hadn’t been able to remember them after waking up in the morning, but for some reason, the sound of unlocking my front door abruptly brought them to my consciousness.

I am in a backyard. someone far away cries out, someone that I have lost and been searching worriedly for. The someone is crying out to be found. I grip the top of the gray brick fence and shout their name. I feel the desperation and fear grip me; there’s no response.

What is the by-product of fear? When I feel unsafe, my pursuit of joy fades, my hope wanes, my momentum tires. I stagnate and bunker down and prepare to pick up the pieces. I feel too old and too tired to continue just surviving. I want to thrive. I want to take risks.